I think that this quote sums up nicely the role of a community nurse in palliative care. However difficult it is we cannot change the outcome but hopefully we can make a difference to the patients comfort and also provide support to the family as they go through such a difficult time.
I lost a patient during my weekend shift yesterday and I am not going to lie, it was a hard day. Even though I'm a nurse I am also human and have emotions and sometimes nursing is just emotionally hard. You sometimes see those posts floating about of nurses outside the patient room crying on shift, well yesterday that was me. Nothing can teach you or prepare you for death and as a nurse you need to find a way to cope with it by yourself as everyone experiences emotion differently.
As a team we had been seeing the patient daily for a number of weeks and had gotten to know them and the family well so when the patient declined very rapidly from telling me jokes on the Saturday to dying on Sunday it came as a bit of a shock. When I left the patients house on Sunday morning I knew the patient didn't have long left and not long after getting back to my base I got the call to say they had died.
I was so privileged to have been part of the patients journey and to have been able to go back and give final care and support his family for one last visit. On leaving, the patients partner gave me a big hug and asked me to thank the team for all we done which was lovely when they were going through so much grief. I just hope that we were able to provide some relief and comfort on that final part of the journey for the patient and their family.
When I came home that night I had a good cry, reflected/debriefed with my husband (who is a paramedic so unfortunately has to deal with death a lot more frequently than I do) and realised that I could have done nothing more: the patient was comfortable and the family happy that the patient had been able to die at home as wished; I don't think anything will ever make death easier!